how the fuck are you? really.

i’ve recently had a conversation with a friend about the difference of being a social butterfly and a wallflower.

i don’t know what i consider myself as,

but i do know that it changes by what environment i’m in.

and honestly…. i’m just not really interested in meeting new people. is that bad? some people might see that as a negative thing; but i beg to differ. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with not pursuing small talk at a bar, club or your friends house party that consists all of her circles of friends…

i’ve been called a bitch plenty of times for this,

but i’ve been called worse.

you might say, if you’re not interested in talking to people then why go out? bruh, i’m out with friends. there’s been some times where someone catches my attention with a sick conversation and i’m all for that. but in most cases people are just trying to get something out of you… for me, i think it’s mostly sex. i don’t like when people objectify, expect shit or think they’re going to score.

i know, i know… not everyone is like that.

i know the boys are side eyeing me right now haha.

i stay in my lane most the time, but i’m the type to want to talk to people about the universe, mental health, past experiences, relationships… deep shit… worth while shit. tell me everything and let me get to know you.. the real you; not the you that superficially laughs at that hot guys idiotic joke. just so no one is offended… no offense.

i like getting to know people. their authentic self. oh but my favorite tho, being under the influence. that truth serum also helps both sides because they’re able to speak a lot more truth when they’re intoxicated.

like they say; a drunk girls words are a sober girls thoughts.

i don’t judge… or at least, i like to think that i don’t come off that way when they’re telling their story. i try to make them feel safe because that’s what it’s all about. i’m always interested in hearing other peoples stories. i like to think it’s healing for them to vent or get a different perspective.

it makes me happy to think i can help any individual,

i’m currently looking into a life coach position because i love it so much.

i like to think of myself this way… making people feel safe when they’re being brave in confronting their concerns. there’s nothing more beautiful then talking about a topic and hearing a different perspective. that’s how you learn and grow; sometimes you learn a lot from a complete stranger. i can vouch for this because i’ve learned from people’s different perspective and opinions.

small talk for me is just something i dismiss, i’ll be polite but i’m simply uninterested in where you work, or how much money you make, or what car you drive. people can deliver such empty conversation in which i really don’t want to hear.

so bitchy, right?

but honestly, maybe i should spend more time in being patient with people.

for example, when people ask you how your day is going…

i mean, do they really give a fuck?

excuse my french!

but in reality, we have automatically programmed ourselves to quickly respond with, “good”. i want to further enhance our way of communicating with each other. instead of asking how their day is going, i’ve practiced saying, i hope you have a good rest of your day. it’s so much more sincere, don’t you think?

i see friends in crossing sometimes at bars and genuinely ask, how are you? they automatically respond with, good. no you beautiful bitch. i mean how are you. really. i’ve come across various times where i stop them and look them in the eye and ask again, “no really, how are you? i see you’re doing well by your social media but genuinely how’s your life? how do you feel?” dude, this makes all the difference. he expressed how much he appreciated that because it doesn’t come around often… someone that shows true interest in your mental health. that made me feel really good… we sat and talked all night and it was truly rewarding for me and him.

guys. in all honesty communication can be so empty and vapid. people are different, they won’t respond and continue to say i’m fine when really they’re not. i know what it feels like to feel alone and feel like no one cares… everyone is so busy with their own lives and that’s okay but extending a hand and ear goes such a long way. you often might feel like you don’t want to be a burden when you’re asking for help or need to vent… you’re not alone. let’s be more involved in the conversations that we have with one another without shame… you never know who you could impact. it makes us feel good when we help others.

and remember, you must NEVER share their conversations with anyone,

it’s trust. try it.

have you impacted someones life without knowing? what makes you feel good when around other people? how do you feel when someone asks how you are? write me.

love you!