from the heart at this moment

i recently joined a writing class for my second time to be able to gain some structure for my writing. as you can tell, i’m pretty distracted with what’s going on around us and COVID hasn’t made it easier. i’m constantly looking for a new subject to write about to help you guys keep up.

hearing my classmates stories have made me feel… welcome, relatable. no matter where or who raised you. we all have a story to share. some are more gnarly than others but that doesn’t make them any less than other peoples. this world is gnarly and we are dealt the cards we are dealt.

how are we suppose to accept them? some people, how i’ve learned in my current AA class, is that we all come from tortured backgrounds. it doesn’t matter where you came from, it doesn’t matter how much money your family had to raise you, it doesn’t matter who you’ve attached yourself too. somehow we all come up and go through bullshit that was handed to us.

i’m blessed enough to not be sick, i’m blessed enough to not have of dealt with family molestation and i feel and hear you guys. it is not okay with what we have been put thought, big or small. i’ve learned to hear other peoples stories and learn from them. be grateful for what you have and remember that other people have it much worse.

even when you’re in the worst of worst. look and dissect the situation and see where you can go from now. i feel like an asshole if and when i share my story with people in my writing class or AA. i’m thinking that they’re thinking, this bitch has nothing to worry about. so be it but it’s none of my business to know otherwise.

i feel selfish for complaining, i feel selfish for thinking i have it bad. In reality, we’re blessed. to be alive, to be breathing, to be healthy, to be … just to be. we need to start having more gratitude and living for ourselves. we are strong enough to handle the situation we are in. we are enough to be loved. we are enough to love ourselves.

how are we supposed to accept them? some people, how I’ve learned in my current AA class, is that we all come from tortured backgrounds. it doesn’t matter where you came from, it doesn’t matter how much money your family had to raise you, it doesn’t matter who you’ve attached yourself to. somehow we all come up and go through the bullshit that was handed to us. us.elves. was handed to us.

life isn’t easy. why life isn’t easy, the girl standing in front of me at Starbucks doesn’t have it easy. we’re all dealing with something. this blog helps me because i know that some of you can relate and that does a lot for me. to let you all know that we are not alone. ion we are in. we are enough to be loved. we are enough to love ourselves. was handed to us.